All of us have used some pretty ridiculous excuses when you’re late for work (except for me, of course. I’ve never done such a thing, especially if my editors are reading this).
However, no matter how insane your excuse may be, there’s always someone else whose excuse is worse.
Here are some of the most ridiculous ones we could find…
1) Cellphone problems
“One time I was running a bit late for work, so I set the time on my phone so that I was still on time based on my clock. I just walked in acting as if I was on time, and acted confused and showed my phone clock when I was told I was late.” — Reddit user RandomAmpersand
Of course, most cellphones set their time automatically, so your boss isn’t entirely likely to buy this — unless, that is, they’re an idiot. So use this one at your own peril.
2) Farewell, Mr. Ed
“I went in class first and told my teacher: ‘Excuse me sir, my car didn’t start this morning so I had to use my horse to ride to the school and it collapsed at the parking lot.’ My teacher reacted like, ‘yeah yeah very funny, now sit down.’
“Some seconds later my friend went in and said: ‘Sorry sir, but there was a dead horse in the parking lot.’” — Extrawelt
3) If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen…
“I was almost ready to leave for work, showered, hair and makeup done, and I went to throw dinner in the crockpot, Buffalo chicken.
“Chicken was in, I went to shake the hot sauce up a little but the cap was already unscrewed sending hot sauce flying all over the kitchen, burning my eyes and burning my skin. At least I had red welts all over my body for proof.” — hallalotus
All we have to say is … amateur.
4) Oompa loompa doompety doo…
“I once rang my boss to tell him I couldn’t come into work because I was arrested after a bar fight with a bunch of midgets.” — RandomHigh
5) Honesty and physics are the best policy
“‘I am late because time is linear.’ Its gotten me out of more than a few jams.” — deleted user.
Accurate, if not necessarily helpful.
“‘My wife is ovulating and we’re trying to have another kid.’ No one ever questions it.” — gsxr
I can imagine.
7) This lie is on fiiiiireeee…
“Car fire on the freeway, and then I show them a saved picture on my phone of a car fire on the freeway that I passed one time.” — Soss
8) Udderly preposterous
“I’m going to be late, someone’s cows got out and they won’t get out of the road. I’m helping round them up and it may take awhile…” — supkristin
9) Man’s best friend…
“Happened to my best friend — she had a little Jack Russell terrier pup and an exercise ball in her room. She was in the bathroom getting ready for work and the dog somehow wedged the giant ball between her closed bathroom door, the adjoining wall, and her bookshelf.
“She could not open the door at all. Her cellphone was in her purse, out of the bathroom. Finally, her brother came home and let her out after he heard her yelling. She was over an hour late — we worked together, and I was crying laughing for a solid 30 minutes.” — y33haw
10) Pesky moose and squirrel, minus the squirrel
“Not me, but a friend of mine who lives in Norway. They had to tell their boss that they were late because there was a moose outside their front door and it wouldn’t go away for almost an hour. Their boss was understanding.” — SpaceCadet404
11) Bad boys, bad boys…
“Cops locked my apartment complex down like Fort Knox. A suspect ran into the complex so pretty much every cop in Philly decided to setup camp outside until SWAT cleared every room.
“My boss didn’t believe me until I sent him a picture of the cranky fellow in full gear with an M4 standing right outside my window.” — MosifD
12) Construction can make you late, but this is ridiculous…
“I was hit by a crane on my way to work. I had only been at that company for a week, when I called they thought I said I was hit by a train and were shocked I was alive.
“When I finally got them to understand I said crane they all thought I meant a bird and didn’t understand why that was delaying my arrival to work. Finally when I got to work in my shiny rental car and explained further they understood that a gigantic piece of yellow machinery backed into me and demolished the front end of my car.” — Reddit User
“When they were in high school, my father’s friend said that he was late to music class because my father had hemorrhoids and he had been walking him to school.
“Apparently the teacher bought it, because the next time she saw my father, she asked if he was feeling better.” — errantdog
14) A day at the zoo
“I was always late for classes in high school and college. I’d usually just say ‘sorry, there was a long line’ and then sit down. I was only asked once what there was a long line for. I said the zoo.” — NatKingCobra
15) You dastardly Ashton Kutcher!
“Not mine, but a friend’s (ex)girlfriend: ‘Punk’d’” — Reddit User
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What’s your craziest excuse for being late? Scroll down to comment below!