Biden Announces Presidential Run Planned for 2020


Have you ever wanted your seemingly drunk idiot black-sheep liberal relative to run the country? Well, Uncle Joe Biden is betting the answer to that question is yes.

According to The Hill, the vice president and professional meme subject more or less announced on Monday that his 78-year-old future self — along with his 36-year-old hair plugs — will be running for president in the year 2020.

“I am going to run in 2020,” Biden told a reporters in the U.S. Capitol when they asked about his future in politics. “What the hell, man, anyway.”

Yes, apparently our vice president sees fit to announce his 2020 run in the same way a guy taking a massive hit off a three-foot bong would. Stay classy, Joe Biden.

When asked if he was kidding, Biden reportedly “paused for about four seconds” before saying, “I am not committed to anything. I learned a long time ago, fate has a strange way of intervening.”

As Fox News reported, Biden faces a significant hurdle — namely, he’ll be 78 when 2020 rolls around, making him much older than any previous major-party nominee for the office.

The oldest candidate so far has been Republican Bob Dole in 1996, who was 73. And at least you can say that Bob Dole was mentally sharp. Joe Biden’s mental state was an unmitigated disaster eight years ago, so one can only imagine what it will look like in four years.

Biden has run for president twice, in 1988 and 2008.

In 1988, Biden was the front-runner when rival Michael Dukakis secretly leaked to the media that Biden had plagiarized portions of a campaign stump speech from British Labor Party leader Neil Kinnock. That’s right: Biden ripped off one of the most famous politicians in the world and apparently thought no one would notice.

Biden’s 2008 campaign was even less successful, mostly because of the attention being sucked up by the triumvirate of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John Edwards. However, statements like Biden’s infamous claim that, “(i)n Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking,” certainly didn’t help.

If the Democrat Party thinks that what it really needs is a senescent former veep who has to be told where he is at all times, it has bigger problems than we thought. However, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t go for Uncle Joe’s plan. Do it, libs.

The only thing more fun than watching you losing is watching Joe Biden pretend he should run this country.

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