Alabama: Well.. at least we’re not Mississippi.
Alaska: Like Canada, but better.
Arizona: Papers please. Just kidding…
Arkansas: The home of Bill Clinton. Sorry.
California: “We’re better than you, and we know it.”
Colorado: It’s the California you can afford to buy a house in.
Connecticut: “Full of pit stops when going from Boston to New York!”
Delaware: “Are you…are you talking me? It’s been years! Don’t leave!”
Florida: The more North you go the more South it gets!
Georgia: “Walking Dead and Archer: Come for the Cool.”
Hawaii: Yes, we’re technically a state!
Idaho: Please stop asking us about potatoes…
Illinois: Because Chicago isn’t big enough to be its own state.
Indiana: College Basketball!…and Corn.
Iowa: We’re relevant during the primaries!
Kansas: It’s like elevator music with grass.
Kentucky: Come for the bourbon, stay because you drank way too much bourbon.
Louisiana: Please send help.
Maine: As seen in every Stephen King novel!
Maryland: “We Have Crabs!”
Massachusetts: No, we don’t talk like that. Just stop.
Michigan: “Our main export is crippling depression.”
Minnesota: Cheese Is Good.
Mississippi: Well… at least we’re not Mis– D’oh!
Missouri: It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
Montana: “Not Even Once.”
Nebraska: CORN! and not much else.
Nevada: Come on vacation, leave on probation.
New Hampshire: 69ing Vermont for over 200 years!
New Jersey: You can’t pump your own gas.
New Mexico: Better Mexico.
New York: “This city is just one small part of our state. There’s a lot of other stuff up here.”
North Carolina: We’re the best Carolina.
North Dakota: “If we called it ‘Upper South Dakota’ instead, would you want to visit?
Ohio: Where every vote counts and the seasons don’t matter.
Oklahoma: “Oklahoma is OK!”
Oregon: “Check out all our trees, man.”
Pennsylvania: It’s Always Sunny Here.
Rhode Island: Why are we a state?
South Carolina: Better Carolina.
South Dakota: No, really. The mountain monument is in this one!
Tennessee: A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.
Texas: Wake up in Texas. Drive all day. Still in Texas.
*BONUS* Texas: Stop asking us if it’s the heat or the humidity. It’s ALWAYS the humidity.
Utah: Bring your wives!
Vermont: “You drove right through it again.”
Virginia: What do you mean the North won?
Washington: You know all that stuff your state wants? Yeah, we already have that.
West Virginia: Not technically the South.
Wisconsin: It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, and that somewhere is right here.
Wyoming: Why are you in Wyoming?
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